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So What If I've Had 20 Exes?


This might be another very controversial article that I get to post on my blog weekly. This is because every now and then I get to meet very interesting people and I am constantly reminded that we view life differently.
Before I continue, I'll advise only 25s and above to read this. I believe this age range can relate with this topic appropriately. However,  I'm open to contrary views.

Now, every time I meet a prospective boyfriend, we arrange few dates, the conventional get-to-know-you period. Frequent calls especially latenights, constant checking up, and all those sweet things that come with the first few weeks of dating. Then comes the 21 questions...depending on what you like to ask. Some are boring while some are kinky S&M, whatever rocks your boat.
All is perfect till someone breaks the rule and asks, 'So how many people have you dated?
photocredit: thetrentonline
 ' Really!!! Do you really need an answer to this question? Can you handle the heat?

I'm sure this question is very familiar, tell me you've never been asked, or asked someone this question at a point in time till you "grew up".
You see, if my years of dating has taught me anything, it is letting sleeping dogs lie. Abeg! Live and Let live is the rule of the game.
If you want to know how many people I've dated, I'll tell you 20. Yes, 20. Anything wrong with that? What if I've had 20 exes?
I can almost bet the next question would be "Did you have sex with them all?" and I will confidently say yes. Kill me if you may.

Some years back, every man I dated asked the same question but at different periods and I would answer with all innocence. Looking back, I have realised how foolish this question is and why I won't be giving anyone a truthful answer. My reason is simple, my past remains my past. Not because it has dirts, which I believe no one is a saint as well, but because you as the man are my present and if you act right, you will make it into my future. Therefore, leave my past alone.

Fact is, not everyone can handle your truth. Your truth might be really dirty to someone with a moral high ground. So telling such person might destroy whatever plans is meant to be. On the other hand, some people who claim to be liberal might accept your truth but will eventually use it against you later. The best people are those who just love you for who you are and the you of the moment.

The truth is not everyone will marry the first person they date. Not everyone will get it until after countless relationships. In fact, not everyone will get married. Some will get married more than once. Life is twisted like that and it is far too short to be concerned about someone's else's past.
However, there are a few exceptions when you need to pry into your potentials background such as (Financial, Health, Family background), sometimes religious inclination, sometimes money philosophy, life philosophy and everything in between. These are very important information that will guide you on course and get you to understand who you are dealing with.

If for any reason you feel the need to bare it all, apply wisdom and tact. I will advise that you filter the truth, if you know what that means. It basically means you only tell some part of the truth, leave the rest uncovered. Secondly, if at all you don't like the idea of filtering the truth for fear of the rest revealing itself, understand the person well enough but you divulge any information. You don't want to regret ever taking such bold step, do you?

Finally, regardless of it all, I know for a fact that no matter how dirty your truth or your past might be, if this person is yours, they'll accept it and judge you not. At the end of the day, it's the person in the present you are dealing with, not the person from the past. All things have passed away, AMEN!!!

Live, Love and Learn.


Have a great week ahead


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