I
found this while one of my favorite magazines, Cosmopolitan Magazine. Quite interesting stuff so I thought I should share. There is love in sharing, right?
The popular women magazine that focuses on beauty, relationships, dating and sex advice, and fashion suggested the tips below as what all 20somethings must do. Interestingly, some of them I have done while others I am guilty of. So I
hope reading this will help just as it has helped me focus on my self development. The good thing is they
are absolutely realistic. If you are above 20, its not too late to still try.
it is certainly better than not making an effort at all.
1.
Stop caring what your jean or dress size is. My precious lovely human,
please stop caring what your clothing size is because it truly does not matter.
In any given store, I can wear between a 2 and a 12, and none of it makes
sense. When I finally stopped caring if the number had single digits or double
digits and just focused on if it made me look awesome or not, I enjoyed clothes
a lot more. If you need to, cut the tags out. It also feels very punk rock.
2.
Stop comparing your body to other women's. I had a totally miserable
conversation with a woman around the age of 18 during a backstage costume
fitting for a play we were both in and she couldn't stop talking about how my
thighs were smaller than hers, which instantly made me say, "Yeah, but
your waist is smaller than mine!" and then we both felt like trash cans
and the whole thing was pointless. Your body has amazing things that only your
body has. Someone being smaller or larger than you has nothing to do with how
great you are. Please hear me on this because I am right and also that leads me
to...
3.
Give yourself a compliment every time you pass a mirror. It's so easy to
get in the habit of immediately pointing out your flaws when you get in front
of a mirror, so go radically in the other direction and compliment yourself
every time you look into one, even if it's just on the awesome outfit you put
together. It can be simple or it can be a whole Oscar-nominated speech about
your own strength and beauty. Mine is usually just, "Yes! Killin'
it!" whispered to my reflection.
4.
Stop dating guys who say they don't go down on women. Ideally, you reply
to a guy who says this by laughing in his face while walking backward out the
door because are you freaking kidding me?! We're all told by movies and music
and TV that we need to give blow jobs or else we're horrible human beings, and
we're still letting guys get away with this nonsense when it comes to going
down on us? Nope. Nope forever.
5.
Stop dating guys who make you feel bad about yourself. I truly believe,
with every single part of me, that your partner should make you feel like the
hottest, smartest, coolest woman on the planet. Seriously. Number one. It's
you. Forever. If he does anything less than this, I promise you, you will never
regret letting him "get away."
6.
Let yourself eat dessert when you want to and good god, don't ever call it
"being bad today." There are few things I hate hearing more than
a woman justifying why it's OK to eat dessert. Let me tell you, I eat chocolate
almost every single day (not a lot of it, but I do) and no one has ever not
dated me because I eat dessert with regularity. Why? Because dessert is great
and everybody knows it.
7.
Sign up for a 401(k) already: A 401k is a retirement savings program
for corporate employees. Typically, the employee defers a certain percentage of
pre-tax wages into the plan and the employer will often match this up to a
certain amount, which means they deposit the same amount into your account up
to the limit they set. Not all companies match contributions, so you'll need to
check with human resources.
8.
Start asking for raises. You might not always get them but getting into
the habit of asking for them will help you so much in the long run, and will
also give you valuable experience in the right and wrong ways of asking so you
can finally get the job and salary of your dreams.
9.
Totally save for a rainy day but also make sure you're saving to take a great
vacation. Yes, of course, you want to be prepared so if you suddenly break
your leg and can't work for three weeks, you don't have to take out three
different loans, but you also want to be able to, you know, actually enjoy the
reason you're working all the time. And that reason of course is "beaches
exist." That said...
10.
Stop buying clothes made out of garbage just because they're cheap. Look,
I get it. Sometimes it's nice just to buy things and we've all seen something
that was kind of OK and only $5, so we bought it. But passing up all those
opportunities and using that money for a really fantastic sweater or a really
gorgeous piece of jewelry you'll wear every day that won't turn your finger
green is so much better in all the ways.
11.
Stop being ashamed to tell guys you have your period. I hate to break it
to you but the jig is up. They know. They've been told about periods. I don't
know who told them, but someone did. Maybe it was an ex-girlfriend or a sister,
but someone leaked this info and they know we menstruate. So stop feeling weird
about telling him you don't want to go out tonight because you "don't feel
well" or "feel weird." You have your period, (again, a thing he
knows exists) and it's OK to talk about it. Any guy who can't hear that is
intensely weird.
12.
Develop a skin care routine that makes you feel pretty and not like a project. I
don't care if it's smiling at yourself in the mirror while applying sunscreen
to protect your cute face (no joke, the sunscreen thing is a must), you need to
start taking care of yourself in a way that feels like pampering and not like
fixing. Slathering on creams and serums because you feel like you're not good
enough without them is very different from slathering on creams and serums
because they make you feel like a cute, soft, fancy lady.
13.
Trust that what your body is telling you is right. We're often taught by
parents or TV or our weird friends to only eat at meal times or to stop eating
once we've had a certain number of calories, but it's really true that if you
eat when you're hungry, truly hungry, and don't when you're not, everything
usually balances out. Some days, you might be ravenous all day and other days,
you might only eat a little bit. Some days you can run 5 miles, other days you
don't want to get off the couch. I mean, if anything is really wrong or
persistent, see a doctor, but if not, trust that you just go through phases and
it's fine.
14.
Find a form of exercise you actually like. Hearing "Exercise!"
is horrible because no one wants a chore, but if you can find some kind of
exercise that you like doing, even if it's walking or biking instead of
driving, do it and do it now. Keep your muscles, girl!
15.
Actually tell your partner what your sexual fantasies are. It feels
awkward as hell, but you'll never get to do them if you don't start talking
about them. Plus, if you think about it, aren't you dying to know his? There's
no way he's not dying to know yours.
16.
Tell the people who matter that you love them. Like all the time. Like as
much as humanly possible. Because people should hear those words every single
day from at least one person. Why not have that person be you?
Live, love and learn
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