Asoebi: Felicitation or Burden?

It's the start of the weekend and boy am I excited.  I can imagine you on the other hand have an event or a list of events lined up to make your weekend interesting. I'm just going to be in my room, on my bed, sipping cocoa, indulging in my favourite pastime activity; blogging, reading and listening to classical music, don't hate. #noteverytimeturnup. But for now, I'll share with you a little something something.

So, as I stepped out of church on one sunday like that, I bumped into a childhood friend. Looking at how grown she looked made me realise I don old sha!

If you are a catholic like I am, you will agree with me that not all your catheticism classmates remain in the fold as you grow. Many will leave to find their salvation elsewhere, personal reasons or relocation. This was why I was shocked when I saw my old friend. What had she come to do, I quizzed my mind. Then it occurred to me that only one thing could bring her back, at this time. Wedding?

True to my assumption, she came to invite me to her wedding, requested that I join her bridal party and buy her aso ebi as well. At this point, I didn't know whether to be sincerely happy for her because to get married isn't one of the easiest steps to take in recent times - forget all the hype, pre-wedding photos and and and, that you see on popular wedding sites. Or should I just be sad, internally, that with this wedding comes another drain in my wallet, another asoebi that I might probably not wear again and a bridal dress that I most certainly won't wear ever again. I doubt if anyone ever wears their bridesmaid dress after the wedding.

Asoebi is a local term to describe fancy uniform fabrics sold to be worn to attendees of occasions like weddings,birthdays,memorials,funerals etc. It is also worn by them. The fabric is traditionally selected by the celebrants of the occasion. This is common practice in Nigeria. No Nigerian function is complete without it.

Ostensibly, the Aso-Ebi is a way of supporting or showing solidarity with the celebrant and one’s family.

Dating as far back as the 50s, Asoebi trend in Nigeria has indeed evolved. 

In my parents hey days, only a certain fabric was the asoebi staple, Ankara and Jacquard, and it was only meant for close family members of the hosts and not sold. So only wealthy families wore asoebi at events. Today, as long as you are invited, it is expected you buy the fabric. In fact, a higher degree of recognition is given to you if/when you buy it no matter how pricey it is. Admittedly, there are cheaper Aso-Ebi available, but these can reinforce divisions instead of creating unity. I’ve heard of parties where the guests wore two sets of Aso-Ebi: a more expensive option for the richer members of the family, and a less pricey option for poorer (or less extravagant) relations.

I believe one of the reasons asoebi is chosen is to create equality among the guests, which is fine but my question is when should one really draw the line? Must all parties have asoebi and is it a must you buy one to be recognized at the function it was picked for? How do you reconcile having to buy several 'asoebi' fabrics in just one month on a low income or even when you earn millions. Are there no other better ways to felicitate with the organisers than filling one's wardrobe with geles and you are not even 50 yet! Sewing a dress in Lagos, Nigeria is not cheap at all. So after buying an 'unbudgeted' pricy fabric, then you pay through your nose to get your tailor to sew express, even when you and I know she's still going to disappoint.

I remember how it caused a silent war between a friend of a friend and I. I  wasn't going to buy her asoebi, and honestly my reason was simple; I was broke. I humbly asked for the colour of the day so I could wear something similar but she insisted I buy her asoebi. I love her so much but I couldnt afford such luxury at that time.

Ever being to Balogun Market? It is a popular market in central Lagos Island business district. As you walk in, you are welcomed with an array of exquisite and attractively arranged fabrics that will get an intending customer(s) confused. This is where fabric vendors like myself come into play to help take the stress of haggling prices with local fabrics dealers and basically cushion your fabric purchase. The laces, atikus, ankaras, jacquards, tulles, silks, asooke are quite hot in season. Then colours you probably haven't heard before become known to you like Radiant Orchid, Ice, Amber, Musk etc you know what I mean..lol.

Fashion blogs are even more popular now to showcase different eye popping styles to choose from for your asoebi. The more expensive your asoebi, the classier your occasion is deemed to be and the trendier your style should be.

Another problem is when you eventually buy the asoebi fabric only to be disappointed. The fabric looks too substandard for the price it was sold and you are forced to conclude the organisers probably needed money to settle some event management bills, and by making the fabric ridiculously expensive, the bills get sorted. I know you have, so stop rolling your eyes at me.

If you have a lot of friends like myself and you attend weddings almost every other saturday, you'll agree with me that you are likely to have more asoebi laces and gele (head gear) of different colours; tones lighter or darker from each other, than your day-to-day clothes.

In conclusion, I would like to ask if sincerely you buy these fabrics because you really want to buy, by this I mean you like the fabric and you'd love to have it. Do you buy it to felicitate with the organisers even when you don't need it? Or at the very least, for vanity sake? Being seen in it will certainly get you recognised and a chance to collect fancy souvenirs without hustling...

Where do you fall?

Live, Love and Learn.