Skip to main content

Ladies Apply Within


Vaginas (lotus flower, honeypot, vjayjay) are unique in shape, size and smell, Can I get a witness? You will also agree that they taste the way they taste because of a blend of factors, such as the body's natural sweaty smell, the smell of whatever detergent you use on your underwear, the smell of soaps you use, the smell of the vagina's juices should also be put into consideration.
The obvious first step to having a fragrant, delicious pubic region would be to thoroughly wash and wear clean laundry that you wash in soap that doesn't contain dyes or fragrances that will clash with your body's natural scent. It might seem like a good idea to douche with any feminine intimates around in order to get a nice tropical vibe going in your southern hemisphere, but that's not the case. Don't even think about it. Keep it gentle, keep it minimally fragrant. Try taking a bath, if you've got time. Cotton panties are better than less breathable fabrics, since your crotch is sort of like an armpit between your legs.

Keeping the outside part of your flower clean is the easy part, though. What's tough is managing the juices, which are in a state of a giant, constant, bacterial/fungal war, a war in which giant armies are murdered or raised in a matter of hours. Women have pretty unique vaginal bacterial fingerprints, and thus unique tastes.


Surprisingly, not much research has been done on what a girl can do to alter the makeup of her vaginal secretions in a way that's reflected in the taste, and so most advice for making your vagina taste awesome is based on old wives' tales and anecdotes and hilariously misspelled Yahoo answers. During my informal snooping and asking around as usual, I found pineapple mentioned frequently as vaginal taste aid.
Apparently, it's high in sugars, and when you eat it, some internal mechanism sends tiny Magic School Buses to your stomach to cart away the sweet pineapple molecules straight to your vagina. Also recommended fruits include: apples, celery, yogurt, red grapes, cranberry juice, lots of water, mint, watermelon, strawberries. Basically, anything that grows that isn't smelly. This is because fruits with sweet, flowery fragrance help your lady flower smell just as good.

According to my research,  any food that can make you have weird farts, bad breath, or strong smelling pee should be avoided such as beer, coffee, alcohol, asparagus, most dairy, onions, shallots, meat, and fish. And while smoking will make you cool, like cooler than you could ever manage on your own, smoking will make the taste of your body's juices turn sour. If you already smoke and are about to defensively insist that your juices taste like peach nectar, just imagine how scrumptious you'd taste if you kicked the habit.

It should be noted that none of these things (aside from proper personal hygiene) have been beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt proven to change your vagina's taste. And if you've got a serious problem with odor or taste, you should consider the fact that there could be an imbalance at play and what you need isn't a pineapple and some oral, but your gyno and some antibiotics.

Finally, if he's got his face buried and trying to smell your roses, he's probably not going to be put off if the taste he's experiencing isn't that of a donut or glass of fine whisky; Its a flower, flowers smell differently. Your flower is never going to taste like a fruit salad, and that's okay. Remember: if he wanted to have a sweet snack, he should get a smoothie rather than eat your little princess. Enjoy it, Girl, You're delicious! ... I DROP MY PEN.
 
Happy Holiday people







PHOTOCREDIT: www.google.com

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

#DoubleHustle - Banking meets Hair Fashion

It seems like everyone in Nigeria is an entrepreneur these days. Could it be some sort of trend that will phase out after a while, the liberating and elevating feeling it gives to be addressed as a business owner and an employer of labour? Maybe it is an attempt to break even in the current economy reality we are experiencing, or perhaps an effort to change the stereotypical impression that only white collar jobs are the best.

Hot Tea: TV Crew Shot to Death During Live Interview in Virginia

I sincerely don't know what to make of this story but its just crazy!!!  No apparent reason and no shooter in custody. More after the cut

Mummy North!

Guys, I have come again o!. This time, its about a certain Mummy North. I will gist you all that happened since yesterday till now. Imagine how just a few photographs can stir up the world. Power of Social Media or perhaps InstaMedia (Instagram) So I was told Mummy North was on her own when Paper magazine walked up to her, requesting that she'd be the cover girl for their #breaktheinternet issue. As a sharp 34 year old nursing mother of Armenian blood, such an offer must not pass her by. Considering the amount she was going to get from it which by now we know would be no chicken fee.  My very reliable sources say it was actually Mama North that suggested the nude photos to The Paper Magazine.  Even its director told us that Mummy North said 'if we are gonna do it, let's really go there'.  According to him, it was Mummy North's idea to take off her clothes and show more butt. She was willing to take off her clothes.... Hmmmm, things we watch on TV. She must have...