Statistics show that 3% of single women of marriageable age in Nigeria are undisturbed by their lack of a spouse! The other 97% would do just about anything to become Mrs Somebody! Is this data this valid???
This is a story of just one single lady and not meant to represent all. RUTH, Chronicles of being a singleton in Lagos.
It was a boring Sunday afternoon and I just got in from
church after a long meeting with other young individuals. Esther and her
boyfriend, Dennis, of so many years called to inform me they’d be visiting. Not
a bad idea as long as they don’t expect me to cook for them. I can be a bad
host sometimes, I agree, and entering the kitchen to conjure a magic portion
called food isn’t my favourite pastime activity so bear with me. Anyways, they came not too long after the
call and it had me thinking they were probably around the corner and the call
was just to check if I was home. I served them drinks and cookies, ‘that should do’, I said to myself. And all was going well till Dennis asked the
most dreaded question at this point in time.
“Ruth, so how’s your
boyfriend? Last time I had about him, Esther told me you people were talking
marriage. Has he proposed already, what’s new?” Dennis asked.
What in God’s name is wrong with this man, how does my love
life affect the price of diesel in Nigeria, how does it change the present
dilapidating state of the economy, how does it return the missing money to the
treasury, will it stop Boko Haram from causing further havoc. I mean, that’s
why it’s my love life and has no business whatsoever in public domain? So guess
what I did.
“Dennis, don’t you
think it’s time you took my friend to the altar, why are you stalling? Esther,
what is this man waiting for?”
Fire for fire, just the way I like. How dare him. Pot
calling kettle black. This man has being dating friend for close to 10 years
now and he hasn’t deemed it fit to pop the question or marry her without the
whole proposing on Eiffel tower theatrics.
And he’s asking me about my affair, if not for the fact that my very
good friend will be insulted, I would have given it to him the Ruth Pearse
style.
Esther replied “We are
taking it slow”… and I almost fainted.
“Taking what slow, a
relationship of over 10 years, you must be joking right.” Notice how I swiftly made the topic of
discussion about them. My private life remains private, C’est fini.
So I asked her further,
“What exactly are you taking slow?”
I know we are in an age where marriage is not considered as
the Holy Grail and its common place that not everyone will get married. There
are other achievements asides getting married and having kids and building
home and passing a legacy on the kids and and and, right? But what I have a
problem with is being in a relationship for that long with no signs of taking
it to the next level. I haven’t had the best of relationships so far but I
doubt if I have the patience to stay that long with a man, not even the men we
have around these days. Ko jo Mehn!!!
“I’m not, we just feel
marriage might take away the friendship we’ve spent years building. Marriage
has a way of making everything monotonous” Esther added.
She possibly couldn’t be serious, right? What has Dennis
done to my friend? “So, it’s safe to say you might never ever get married? Will you have
kids?” I queried.
“We will eventually
have kids and all but that’s when we are expended all our choices and feel the
next big things is to get married, we will. For now, we are still trying to
discover ourselves. We have that agreement and we are cool with” Dennis
said.
Call me old-fashioned, I agree. I still believe in marriage
and everything it stands for. I also don’t think a girl should date a man
longer than five years unless for very salient reasons. Dennis and Esther to me
seem to be in a bubble of their own. But then, who am I, what do I know. It’s
their cup of tea and I wonder why I’m drinking it for them. Abeg, whatever
rocks their boat, I soliloquized.
After a long chat about the new president and his leadership style in the past few months, how many government corporations are beginning to conform, how I personally think Nigerians
should give Buhari a break and allow the man serve without dolling so called wise suggestions, he needs a clear mind. We had a heated argument, drank more
alcohol till we finished a bottle of vodka. It was dark by then and they had to leave. I
had to prepare for the next day as well.
Tomorrow is another day as we Nigerians like to say, I’ll
catch you again…
Disclaimer: names used were formed from the author's imagination and not real.
PHOTOCREDIT: www.google,com
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