I was having one of my chitchat moments with a close friend and the topic 'Standards' was raised. It was then I realized that many dating couples have too high standards they expect of each other thus many single people or broken marriages.
Everyone has standards,they keeps us motivated to do our best, but often times these standards cause undue stress. Some often impose their standards on their loved ones; this is a new source of stress and frustration for partners who feel they cannot meet these expectations.
I'm not saying standards are not good or unhealthy in relationship, I only think it shouldn't determine how much or how far the relationship should go. It also shouldn't be a criterium to determine if the relationship will lead to marriage but then again who is to blame? The partner with unattainable standards or the one who isn't truthful to him or herself and believes these standards can be reached.
For a clearer picture of what I mean, here are two scenarios. Girl tells guy that for her to marry him, he must take her to Eiffel Tower to propose and it has to be in the next 12 months. Guy knows he can't afford it but he is determined to try. He works hard to make sure he meets up but at a point he loses his job and remains unemployed for a long while.
Another is where a guy tells a girl that he'd love to marry a medical doctor, fortunately his girl studied pharmacology but didn't want to take it further than that. She eventually goes to med school after being persuaded and threatened with marriage by him. Unfortunately, she didn't make it through, failed woefully.
What happens now? who do we blame?
Some will say the partner with implausible standards, but then, that's why its his. If he waits a bit longer, he'll find someone who fits perfectly. He won't have to force the other to be what he wants. The relationship is likely to be hitch-free because they complement themselves. Also, its possible he wants the best for her and knows how much she wants to get married so he uses that to drive her to be the best she can be...whats the essence of going to study a particular course in school for several years and not practice it, out of laziness or lack of interest.
Others will say the partner that lives in pretense and self denial. He could have opted out when things hadn't gone far. He also will definitely find someone that would embrace him and encourage him to be what he wants to be. Someone who will gladly merge her standards with his and complement themselves. Then again, he probably loves the partner with high standards and can't imagine living a second without her, so, he works himself out to be all he can for her...
My take regardless of all these reasons is that happiness in relationship is key. you can't blame the one with high standards. If you find yourself with such people,you need to decide whether you are GAME, or you think its LAME. You shouldn't live someone else's dream. You need to be you, someone out there will appreciate this about you and won't mind spending the rest of his life with you.
Have a great week ahead guys.
(PHOTOCREDIT: GOOGLE)
Everyone has standards,they keeps us motivated to do our best, but often times these standards cause undue stress. Some often impose their standards on their loved ones; this is a new source of stress and frustration for partners who feel they cannot meet these expectations.
I'm not saying standards are not good or unhealthy in relationship, I only think it shouldn't determine how much or how far the relationship should go. It also shouldn't be a criterium to determine if the relationship will lead to marriage but then again who is to blame? The partner with unattainable standards or the one who isn't truthful to him or herself and believes these standards can be reached.
For a clearer picture of what I mean, here are two scenarios. Girl tells guy that for her to marry him, he must take her to Eiffel Tower to propose and it has to be in the next 12 months. Guy knows he can't afford it but he is determined to try. He works hard to make sure he meets up but at a point he loses his job and remains unemployed for a long while.
Another is where a guy tells a girl that he'd love to marry a medical doctor, fortunately his girl studied pharmacology but didn't want to take it further than that. She eventually goes to med school after being persuaded and threatened with marriage by him. Unfortunately, she didn't make it through, failed woefully.
What happens now? who do we blame?
Some will say the partner with implausible standards, but then, that's why its his. If he waits a bit longer, he'll find someone who fits perfectly. He won't have to force the other to be what he wants. The relationship is likely to be hitch-free because they complement themselves. Also, its possible he wants the best for her and knows how much she wants to get married so he uses that to drive her to be the best she can be...whats the essence of going to study a particular course in school for several years and not practice it, out of laziness or lack of interest.
Others will say the partner that lives in pretense and self denial. He could have opted out when things hadn't gone far. He also will definitely find someone that would embrace him and encourage him to be what he wants to be. Someone who will gladly merge her standards with his and complement themselves. Then again, he probably loves the partner with high standards and can't imagine living a second without her, so, he works himself out to be all he can for her...
My take regardless of all these reasons is that happiness in relationship is key. you can't blame the one with high standards. If you find yourself with such people,you need to decide whether you are GAME, or you think its LAME. You shouldn't live someone else's dream. You need to be you, someone out there will appreciate this about you and won't mind spending the rest of his life with you.
Have a great week ahead guys.
(PHOTOCREDIT: GOOGLE)
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