The OFF Button

Are you spending more time with your smartphone than with your partner -- even during romantic dates?

‘50 percent of the time I am with Omar, I'm either playing games on my Ipad or chatting away with my friends on blackberry and other social networking sites. Lately we haven't had a real discussion. I don't find him boring, far from it but I can't but touch my phone. I think its a disorder. I think it’s beginning to affect us. It got so bad that one night after we had sex, I picked my phone and started to play games. He thought I was chatting with my friends but when he saw what I was doing, he got very displeased’ said Jamila.

Sound familiar? 

In the last 15 years the mobile phone has conquered the world.  I could make a list of 50 ways these phones have improved our lives.   But if you’re like me and can remember what life was like before we all got mobile phones, you may wonder if all the changes are really for the good. 

Remember love notes, letters, cards and more memorable and creative ways partners showed their affection towards each other.

Remember those days when you could go to church and not worry about being distracted by ringing phones 

Remember when meetings at work weren't interrupted by phone calls that people just had to accept? 

And here’s one more scene we all see regularly and are probably guilty of:

You walk into a restaurant and you notice a couple seated near you.  And you notice that they really are not enjoying this opportunity to be together, because one is patiently waiting for the other to stop
talking or texting on the mobile phone.  And you think, How sad that they aren't talking to each other. 

Why are many couples so stuck to their mobile phones these days? They become less engaging to their partners and gradually beginning to drift away.

Adjusting to some form of new technology is nothing new.  Electricity, automobiles, telephones, radio, television, computers, and many other new inventions sparked significant changes in our culture and in the way we related to our spouses, our children, and our friends.  But the pace of change since 1995 has been breathtaking.  We've seen the emergence of the internet and of mobile phones, and then the convergence of the two.  We can now be plugged in wherever we are, 24/7.

The technology is evolving so quickly that most of us are barely aware of how our behavior is changing and our relationships are affected. 

It’s not that the technology is inherently bad.  Far from it, it helps us connect with people in many positive ways.  The problem is that so many people are unable to control it.  It’s as if they are married to their cell phones.

We compulsively carry our smartphones with us wherever we go. The classroom, the bathroom, the bedroom, the outdoors, our phone is always in hand as if it were some magic self-defence tool capable of protecting us from all that is evil in the world.

However, Smartphones can be the culprit of communication breakdown among couples. Intimacy is hard to achieve or maintain when your phone keeps beeping with alerts, notifications and email reminders. A constant, merciless distraction, our smartphones have come to replace deep-felt, long conversations in view of non-urgent, shallow tasks; retweeting a fun tweet, updating your Facebook status for the 136th time.

In fact, some people talk more about their relationships on Facebook than they do face-to-face with the person they’re actually in a relationship with!

We’re becoming so obsessed over how our lives look to others through the digital glass that we forget how significant it is to live, invest and relish in the present moment and the reality we’re in.

Why choose to communicate through social media, rather than enjoy a friend’s company? Or better yet, do something together, other than sitting side by side staring at the displays on your individual devices?

Inevitably, excessive smartphone use drives us away from each other, and we only choose to communicate impersonally and for superficial matters. Somehow, bonding and intimacy no longer appeal to us, making it impossible for us to build any new, sincere relationships

To sustain a relationship it needs to be based on constant give and take, where we think about someone else at least as much as we think about ourselves. Smartphones upset this balance.

Just like the recent Durex advert suggested to many couples affected by this habit, I have just one advice for you as well 

PRESS THE OFF BUTTON.

This definitely shows how important your partner is to you especially when you two are trying to have an intimate time. 

If you haven't seen the advert, now you can. 

Its the weekend guys, I'm sure many are at one wedding or the other, I'm here trying to eat green and live clean.

 Have a great weekend.

Peace, Love and Stay Fit.