Skip to main content

Miss Ikeji

Hmmmmmm, plenty things are happening in this world of ours. 
I know its impolite to eavesdrop on people's conversation however, some gists are too sweet to be ignored. 
When was the last time you took a public mode of transport while moving around Lagos. I know the hustle is real and everyone is on a struggle to get a four wheeled drive but sometimes, the best experiences come from little things of life like the humorous conversations between a passenger and bus driver/conductor. I had my dose yesterday and I'll like to share the gist.


Passenger 1: Na wa o. The traffic in Lagos is not from God. how can one be in traffic for close to 2 hours? If I was travelling to Ibadan, I would have gotten to Redeemed Camp by now sha.
Passenger 2: Hmmm, our sins in Lagos is taking a toll on us that's why. The other day as I was heading to the office, the road was free and I had to call the office to find out if rapture hadn't taken place.
Passenger 1: I live at Dolphin Estate, Ikoyi and I work in Victoria Island which isn't more or less a 20 minutes drive. But look, I left my home 6am and I'm still in the bus at 8am. This is just sad.
Passenger 2: I know right. Working in Lagos is just too difficult. I think I need to get the next big cash cow business o. 
Passenger 1: I hear blogging is making so much money now.People want to know what's going on.


Passenger 2: Is that so? How do you know this?
Passenger 1: You nor dey this town? One Ms Ikeji just bought almost a billion naira worth mansion in Apple abi Mango Island.
Passenger 2: Huh??????????
Passenger 1: If you see the house ehn, omo na serious mansion o.
Passenger 2: You don't mean it.How did you know about it?
Passenger 1: I am surprised you are just hearing it. It has been making the rounds all over since last week Friday. Her sister posted some pictures of it online, then the mansion owner herself took more pictures of the mansion and posted on her blog. She even announced that many of the big wigs we have in the country are her neighbours. Omo, the babe don hammer. There is no stopping her
Passenger 2: Please remind me again what exactly she does.
Passenger 1: She blogs and she has been around for a while now. The babe don suffer gan sha, so I quite understand why she's getting all she is right now.
Passenger 1: She blogs, I get that part. She suffered, I also get that part but what I need more enlightenment on is why get a mansion and why the show off?
Passenger 2: Hater. See Beef o!
Passenger 1: BEEF!!! None whatsoever. In fact what I feel for the lady is pity.
Passenger 2: But why?
Passenger 1: Why a big mansion? She's going to be spending more on that house than she has ever done in her life. Successful people have foresight. Has she thought about the next big thing? Even if she thinks she's going to sell the house after a while, which I doubt she would anytime soon, its going to create a big drench in her pocket.
Passenger 2: You are just speaking English. In Nigeria, when you have hammered, how else do you let people know if not by doing the almost impossible. And like her story goes, she has never slept with any man for money. All her wealth is self made. 
Passenger 1: Almost impossible, she should have bought a state. There is no need to show off to people who won't hesitate to clamp heavy on her if and when she falls. Humility will always be the key to success. Self made, I hear you. I ask, is she a virgin?
Passenger 2: I don't know if she's a virgin but she should have a boyfriend or a manfriend or a shefriend. and my friend, you are speaking plenty English. If you had such money, I can bet you would do same. Have you seen her fleet of cars? I swear ehn if not that Its not my calling, me sef go start blogging.
Passenger 1: hahahahaha!!! It doesn't have to be your calling. Almost everyone has a blog these day. Mind you, I won't do the same. I will sink that money in one massive life long investment. I will in fact buy a massive piece of land, I will build an estate on it and I will name it after me. I will provide all the necessary amenities and make it very conducive for living.
Passenger 2: I understand, but if you follow this lady, you will know she has suffered. So this is a way of showing that hard work pays. She earned it.she has drank garri well well o. Her story is from weed not grass o! to grace. Na jet remain make she buy
Passenger 1: If she really has suffered before, she should be more wise about how she lives. My mother likes to say ' Ti isu eyan ba jina, a ma fowo bo ni' meaning, if your yam is boiled, you must cover it up. 

Conductor: Eko Hotel Roundabout

Passenger 1: That's my bus-stop
Passenger 2:  It was nice chatting with you. 

That was how the gist ended my dear people of God. This was one good hour of undiluted gossip and uninterrupted attention.  Till I come again with my Tatafo.





Live, Love and Learn

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hot Tea: Hackers of Ashley Madison "Dating Site for Cheating Spouses" release members' data

Reports say 10 gigabytes of data stolen by hackers of Ashley Madison site may have been released. The data was stolen last month by hackers with the name Impact Team. They threatened to reveal the data unless the match making site for married people was taken down. According to reports, the hackers managed to steal the real names and addresses of the site's users, including those who had previously paid to delete their accounts.

AWAITING OUR OWN MAX - LESSON FROM 'ELYSIUM'

By Bamidele Salako If you’re yet to see Elysium, one of the rave-making blockbuster movies of this summer, then I advise you grab a copy now or get to the nearest cinema ASAP (it’s still showing in theatres) where you can be accorded the ultimate movie viewing experience – if you can afford it lol. Don’t get me wrong o! This is not a paid advertisement or promo for the movie or for film houses; Elysium is simply a must-watch, not just for movie aficionados but for all Nigerians who are burdened by the seemingly never changing state of affairs in our dear country – our intractable unpleasant collective existence which has unwittingly produced the popular enduring mantra – “E go better.”     Except on very special occasions, I am not one to go to the movies for the sheer pleasure of it. It’s not in my culture. My best moments are the ones I spend alone reading good books or surfing the internet for an eclectic array of great opinion pieces, news features, a...

Asoebi: Felicitation or Burden?

It's the start of the weekend and boy am I excited.   I can imagine you on the other hand have an event or a list of events lined up to make your weekend interesting. I'm just going to be in my room, on my bed, sipping cocoa, indulging in my favourite pastime activity; blogging, reading and listening to classical music, don't hate. #noteverytimeturnup. But for now, I'll share with you a little something something. So, as I stepped out of church on one sunday like that, I bumped into a childhood friend. Looking at how grown she looked made me realise I don old sha! If you are a catholic like I am, you will agree with me that not all your catheticism classmates remain in the fold as you grow. Many will leave to find their salvation elsewhere, personal reasons or relocation. This was why I was shocked when I saw my old friend. What had she come to do, I quizzed my mind. Then it occurred to me that only one thing could bring her back, at this time. Wedding?