Skip to main content

My Honest Review of '50 Shades of Grey' The Movie.


So after crazy hype all through the weekend, I finally decided to see this valentine special. ''Fifty shades of grey'' sizzled at the weekend box office, setting new records for the highest-grossing Presidents Day holiday opener of all time and ranking among the biggest R-rated debuts in history.
The erotic drama performed like a comic book movie, albeit one with much naughtier costumes, picking up $81.7 million from 3,646 locations over the three-day period. That easily trumped the holiday’s previous record-holder, the 2010 debut of the romantic comedy “Valentine’s Day,” which kicked off with $56.3 million. Now tell me one reason why I wouldn't have gone to see it.The movie has tens of millions of devoted fans set to queue up, and tens of millions more wondering what all the fuss is about. And … how to put this delicately? It couldn't possibly be as bad as the book.
First and foremost, I'd like give kudos to the Silverbird Galleria team. I noticed the time slot was changed from 7 to 9pm, good stuff. I guess they noticed too many children (you know these days the way those kids grow is quite alarming) were interested in seeing the movie. Truth be told, unless you are a strong-willed person, you mustn't for any reason at all go see this movie.

I read the book three years ago, so I was very curious to see its movie adaptation. Hoping curiosity won't kill this cat.
So I got dressed and I made my way to the cinemas. First thing I noticed was the abundance of ladies around. Young working class ladies looking very "toastable". A lot of couples too, I sat beside a (lebanese) couple that kept kissing all through the movie. I did enough amebo last night that I saw older men with mistresses and I began to wonder what happened to madam at home. I know I must remain hot till I'm grey. so help me God.
After several movie trailers, the movie started at 9:30pm with the first scene ushering in Christian Grey, the chief executive officer of the Grey Empire. They show us how organized he is in terms of his clothing. He obviously has a good taste in classy ties (I like). Then it moves on to Anastasia Steel, a final year English University graduate who was requested by her friend to help conduct an interview with Christian Grey. During the interview, she and Christian began to connect. Just like in the book, he begins to stalk her till they finally get very close.They almost had their chance in the elevator but some passengers interrupted. On one night, he took her on a ride in his private helicopter to his place. They walked round the house and spoke about all sorts. It was on this same night he deflowered her. That was my best part because the lovemaking was sensual even though our dear Christian Grey says he doesn't make love, he f**ks. #joker

No doubt the movie had a lot of steamy sex scenes, explicitly so. The story line is basically about a man who didn't want to love, his past made him incapable of loving sincerely so he settles for a contract based relationship where he is the dominant and his girlfriend, the submissive. A very convenient plan for him and maybe for his partner if she’s on the same wave length as he. No one gets hurt as long as they stick to the rules according to the contract. Anastasia was very reluctant to sign this contract because it just didn't make any sense to her. She wanted a real relationship and love, he wanted to dominate her and not necessarily love her.
My best part was when he bought her a car and warned her not to roll her eyes on him but she did subconsciously. He carried her in, laid her on his thighs and smacked her lightly.


The worst part was obviously when he took her into his playroom (red room of pain), beat her with a horsewhip and tried to have sex with her after afflicting on her, pain. I mean, who does that, well only Christian Grey. One of the many conversations: 

Ana: Why do you want to spank/whip/tie me up? Why can’t we be an ordinary couple?

Christian: Because this is what I am.

My verdict however is that 50 shades of grey is not really about sex. Its about class. How Christian Grey tries to use his wealth to dominate humble Anna. It also depicts domestic abuse borne out a damaged childhood Christian experienced. Abused.
 At the age of fifteen he was sexual molested by his mother's friend and for six years it continued. This experience damaged him emotionally so much so he became abusive and possessive to his lovers. He makes them sign a contract and during that period, they are under his will. 

Its lifestyle porn as well as actual porn. it’s definitely not a movie to watch at the cinemas. This is a two-hour film containing maybe half an hour’s worth of anything actually happening. So many scenes where cut out which made it look more like porn than a movie with a story line.
It’s something an adventurous couple should have at home to watch once in a while whenever they feel like being naughty, the sensual scenes though. I personally don’t think I’d like my man hitting me with a horsewhip while in the act.

In all, absolutely stunning suits on Grey, great choice of lingerie on Anastasia, top notch production, excellent choice of music, first-rate attention to details, superb decor.
 Anyone notice the first bed spread they made love on? ce était absolument incroyable!!!

The movie adaptation by director Sam Taylor-Johnson of E. L. James's bestseller succeeds in toning down the book's most egregious elements—but reveals that there's very little left underneath.

Lastly, I sense a part two setting in. I doubt if I'll be going to see it. For me, this movie gets a generous 2 out of 10 and that's me being generous.  Not a lot of acting to rate.


That's all folks, enjoy the rest of the day.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Out of my plans now

Popular posts from this blog

Venting Tuesday : Convo With A Scammer

When will these scammers learn? Yes, scammers!!! Ever got a text message from a weird number telling you you have just won a large sum of money courtesy a popular brand? Or, perhaps, a strange phone-call from 'a long lost relative, friend, old school mate' and everything in between telling you how much he/she has missed you and would love to see you again after so many years ...blah-blah-blah Apparently, those examples I gave fall under the electronic type of duping (scam), other types of the electronic duping include email advanced fees, plishing . The face to face duping is another type of scam. Here, the fraudsters come to their victim in person, inviting them to participate in a too good to be true deal. They tell the victim he need not worry about money anymore because the deal they are offering will save him from being financially handicap for life. They even engage their victim in a discussion depending on the type of deal involved. The term 'scammer' is a

Random Musings: Clearly I Am Not Just A Fat Ass

Lately I find myself listening to different genres of music. From rock, pop, country, jazz and and and. So I have just being a music whore trying to find the one I'm most comfortable with.  Of all the genres of music I have been experimenting lately, Soul tops my list. Now Soul is believed to be music for only mature minds, whatever that means! I have even been told that you need to be of a certain age group to understand the message that lies in soul music. Honestly, I couldn't disagree more. 

So What If I've Had 20 Exes?

This might be another very controversial article that I get to post on my blog weekly. This is because every now and then I get to meet very interesting people and I am constantly reminded that we view life differently. Before I continue, I'll advise only 25s and above to read this. I believe this age range can relate with this topic appropriately. However,  I'm open to contrary views.