Its been a minute yeah, I know and I've missed you. After a conversation with some friends, I finally got inspired to write about one of my Living in Lagos Chronicles.
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As much as every memory of
this incident surprises me, I find a reason or two to laugh real hard and even
consider acting...lol.
The initial plan on this
fateful morning was to go to work as usual but then that bad angel whispered
evil thoughts of where I could go to and would have more fun (unholy) obviously,
#imnosaint!. So I changed routes and headed to ........... story for another
day. I had enough opportunities to change my mind because I was so unlucky from
the very beginning. First, I had to sit in a bus for 2 good hours trying to
wait for passengers and of course they never came. I got impatient, got off the
bus and went to some other bus stop. Luckily I found one, it took me to Costain. At least I was a bit close to my destination, Surulere. Then I began
to wait again at the Costain bus-stop for a bus that also never came. Finally a
cab that was not painted like the regular Lagos cabs by the way, appeared but
what did I care, my mind was more on where I was heading than how I got there.
Here my story begins.
We were four in the cab, including
the driver.we had gotten to Shitta when the well plotted drama as I call it
began.
Driver: Oya what do you want me to do for you now,The only
help I can render is to take you back to the garage where I picked you from.
Girl: Oga Direba pls I no no Lagos well well.If you take me
go garage back i go just lost and them go collect the money from my hand.
Second passenger(FRANK): What money???
Driver: No mind am jare,na thief she be.if no be thief how
she go take see all that kain money?
Girl: 'ORI MI OOO'.Pls I no be thief,na for sokoto I dey
work as cook for one rich Alhaji.The Alhaji kon sick one day and as all the
maids see say im go die soon,we all plan with the chief maid say make we take
as much as we fit take and run away.One night,we con take money,gold from im
secret room and we run.
Frank: So where the money dey
Driver: E dey inside my boot,she carry am put for inside Ghana-must-go.
Frank: U don't say!!!.so what do you wanna do with the
money now?
Driver: Me I dey fear oo!,if police stop us now na trouble
be dat one o.
Girl: I no mine make we all share the money but please no
me take back to the garage.
At this point,I didn't know
whether to get off the cab as apparently we weren't heading anywhere or just
continue the trip as my curiosity wanted.
.........
Frank: Let me see this money we're talking about. (The
driver looked for a parking space,told the girl to get down,carried a 'Ghana-must-go'
of money out of the boot and bought it into the car.We opened it and to my awe,
it was filled to the brim with hard currency.) Mind you,I mean really full.
Script continues.........
Frank: O.M.G.This is a whole lot of money, so what are we
going to do about this?
Girl: We fit share this money equal equal and everybody go
dey happy but if I go garage,them go collect all this money from my hand and
them fit beat me on top.
Driver: Wetin make we con do
Frank: I think this is an opportunity,we can help this girl
to help us too.
Then as he tried to pick a
bundle,the girl shouted.
Girl: no touch am, na the problem wey bin dey there be
dat.The Alhaji na serious talisman. I hear say he don put curse on top im
money. If you touch it,you go die naunau like fowl. One maid try am,na so she
cough blood die.
Driver: E le yi tu wa le ooo!!! ( This one is hard o).So
wetin we go do now?
Frank: Girl,what do you have in mind?
Girl: I no no,na my big sister I be won tell, but I don
lost my phone.
Driver: If I take go meet one baba you gree go
Girl: Yes I no get choice.
Even after this (((RED
ALERT))), I still didn't get down from this vehicle. We all kept quiet till we got
to a sawmill in Coates Str, Ebutemetta, Lagos Mainland.
Like I said at the very
beginning, every thought of this particular incident brings laughter to me. Even
as I write I'm laughing so hard but at this point I've got to drop my pen to
catch my breath. So as our #Nollywood adverts end their commercials with
"WATCH OUT FOR PART TWO" , expect to read about my journey to the
babalawo's shrine, my encounter with the famous baba, the ritual and the
escape! Have a lovely weekend. Don't forget to share and post your comments.
Live, Love and Learn.
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